


Behind Her Eyes

by AlaraKitan



Category: The Orville (TV)
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe, Awkward Flirting, Established Relationship, F/M, Other, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-02-10 04:48:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18653215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlaraKitan/pseuds/AlaraKitan
Summary: What if the brain wipe didn't fix the time line problem entirely and it came down to Alara to save the future of the universe?





	1. Leading The Blind

**Author's Note:**

> Alright a lot of this makes no sense I guess but since we are dealing with quantum theory and time travel it doesn't have to make too much sense. I mean, it makes sense enough to be a coherent story let's just put it that way. It's Ed and Alara and eventually will become sexually explicit but I needed to establish a few things first so it's rated explicit for future chapters. Enjoy.

She felt like she'd met him before it was certainly possible, at least. However, she didn't have much time to say anything about it before John interrupted her again. She had to help them, she'd at least promised that much so she headed across the room to get them the protein sample they needed. Allegedly, from what she had been told, this Kelly woman was going to fix everything by going back in time or something to do with quantum physics. She wasn't sure she put much stock in that. Yes, she knew it was possible. The math all made sense, but she wasn't sure she could believe it. There would be several issues with this in any case, at least in her mind. One of the biggest was that Kelly would have to make the exact same choices she had before to get them where she remembered them being before. Due to chaos theory and how all of that worked, there was actually no telling if she could do it right, memory wipe or not. Things could be far worse sending her back, far better, something could happen to cause her death. There was still too much left to chance even if they did what they were promising. 

Before she could bring any of that up, she was alerted to an attack. John said that there was room for her in the shuttle but she'd learned long ago that there was no way she'd abandon her crew. Not after this long, and all they'd been through to be able to survive in the first place. She wasn't like him. Clearly. The guy who had jumped ship the moment he had been able to. She stayed in place with them, more so because she had no faith in this Kelly woman to do anything right. She could believe the others, even as much as she didn't like John she had faith in him, but Kelly? She'd met the woman for about a minute and from everything else she'd been told in the story she just had no faith in it being reality. Maybe it was better to go down fighting. Either way, massive changes were going to be made to the time line. Her death (if it happened) more than likely wouldn't matter a bit. Kelly's actions and the rest of the world after that point would. She didn't want to stick around and wait for something that was so incredibly out of her control. 

* * *

Yet another date had stranded her before the night could even get started. Even if she was kind of getting used to this situation it still stung as much as it ever did. It wasn't as if these guys did't know they were going to be going out with a Xelayan beforehand. She would have appreciated it far more if they would just not ask her out in the first place, or call it off when they had first gotten the hint of cold feet. Now, she was alone on a Friday night and painfully sober. She didn't want to stay in the restaurant where she was just ditched so she left. There had to be a club or something around that would be more fun than this. Give her a better chance at hooking up before midnight. 

As she exited onto the street there was a flash of light. It was bright enough to blind her for a moment. She stumbled back and rested against the building she had been standing near. If anyone else had been affected by this, she couldn't tell, as everyone was just carrying on like they probably usually would. She rubbed her eyes and heard yelling across the street. It was a couple. They were older than her but still relatively young. She had only just recently graduated from the academy, had been fast tracked due to her intelligence and strength. She was now waiting on an assignment which seemed to be taking forever because no one wanted someone who was so young but at the same time, everyone wanted a Xelayan so she was hard to place. 

She had an odd sense of knowing who this man and woman were yet not knowing them at all. They were definitely very pissed off at each other, in any case. The woman screamed in the man's face and shoved him back when he tried to stop her from what looked like storming off. He just let her go and she went in the other direction. He shook his head and leaned against the building across the street, looking over at where she was. Other than that the streets were pretty quiet except for a few random people passing here and there. 

"Bad date?" He called. She almost snapped at him wondering what kind of business it was of his but found that she couldn't. In a weird way, he was cheering her up. 

"Not worse than yours," She called back at him. She could hear him laugh and she decided to head in his direction. Since she could tell that he was quite a bit older than her she also assumed he may not be as wild and stupid as the guys she had been trying to date. Not that she really intended to take him on a date, she just figured he'd be less obnoxious and macho. Maybe he just needed a friend after whatever that was. She crossed the street and caught up to him. "You know, we could probably both use a drink." 

"Or five," He said. "Ed Mercer," He held his hand out to her. 

"Alara Kitan," She took his hand and shook it firmly but within the reasonable amount that humans were used to having their hands shook. "I mean you don't have to-" 

"No...I have to. You just probably shouldn't join me." He sighed, "Unless you like being miserable." 

"Not really but I think we can both be miserable together. Right?" She asked him. He chuckled and nodded then motioned down the street casually to where she knew there was a dive bar. She'd been there before and ironically she had been intent on heading there next. It was just a few blocks away from where they were standing. 

"You know what they say, misery loves company," Ed told her. All she knew was she didn't want to spend the rest of the night alone and though she wasn't looking at this like any sort of a date she could see it turning into some sort of friendship, at least for awhile. Or she was just lying to herself because she was so tired of being alone on this planet. He was the first guy she'd met in a long time who hadn't immediately drawn attention to the fact that she was Xelayan. 

"I'd ask you what that was all about but it's probably not really my business, is it?" She asked. He shook his head. 

"It's not but since I'm sure it'll come out when I'm drunk why not get it out of the way now?" He asked, "I found out that she was trying to arrange some kind of favor with one of the Admiral's to get me my own ship. I mean, what's weird is that I really shouldn't have been at headquarters that day but Gordon was running late because he slipped and fell so...never mind you don't even know who Gordon is do you?" 

"Do I want to know?" She asked. 

"If you like really obnoxious guys with no verbal filters then sure." He smiled. She smiled back at him and they stopped at the door to the bar. He waited for her to go inside first and choose a table. The place wasn't very busy, mostly because it also wasn't a night club. Nor was it meant for young people. She tended to hide out here when she wanted to drink but also didn't want to get hit on by idiot academy students. 

"Doesn't sound like my type but if that changes I'll let you know." She told him. They found a booth in the back to sit down. "No offense but most people would want to be Captain of a starship no matter what...why would you-" 

"She's doing it because she's trying to fix my life after she cheated on me and ruined the marriage." He said, "I don't want to be a Captain because my ex-wife was owed a favor I want to be a Captain because they decided I was right for the job. Honestly, if I had been five minutes earlier I wouldn't have caught their conversation. They were having it right in the middle of the hall you'd think they'd have been more careful about that. Still, I'm glad that I found out this way. I'm pretty sure otherwise I'd have my own ship and she'd be laughing about me behind my back." 

"Well I don't really know her, whoever she is, but I mean maybe she just genuinely felt it would make things up to you." Alara suggested. For some reason, and she didn't know why, she felt completely okay with having this conversation with him even though they had really only just met. Yet, it didn't feel like that at all. It felt like she'd known him for years and she could only assume he was getting the same feeling or else he wouldn't have been so comfortable either. Though she guessed it was possible he was just like this with everyone but she wouldn't have bet on it. 

"Maybe she should have thought of that before sleeping with-" 

"Darulio." They both said at the same time. 

"Wait? How did you-" 

"I don't know," She said, "I swear I don't know how I know that I just kind of...do." She was absolutely shocked that she was right, in any case, because until this moment she had know knowledge of any of this. Who he was, who that woman was, but it was starting to come back to her in vague bits and pieces. He was just staring at her like she was some kind of psychic, hopefully she looked just as shocked as she felt or he'd think this was some kind of prank. 

"Did Kelly put you up to this?" He asked cautiously after another moment, but he didn't sound accusatory at all. He sounded more freaked out than anything. 

"No I...did you see that flash before? The really bright one. It happened about the same time I saw you fighting with Kelly across the street." She pointed out. 

"Did not notice a flash," He said. 

"But there was one it was blinding. I nearly fell over." She said, "I also seem to be the only person who noticed it I guess. Anyway, I didn't know what any of this was or who you were until that very moment where you were about to tell me. It was just a vague sense of familiarity, like I'd met you before or had a dream but it's getting stronger now." 

"What is? How much are you remembering or thinking...or whatever is going on here?" He asked, leaning in closer. She opened her mouth to talk but before she could the bartender was over by their table asking them what they wanted to drink. She ordered a Xelayan tequila and he just asked for the same thing probably to hurry up the process and get the bartender to go away but the way he said it, it was almost as if she'd heard him order it before. 

"I think you're supposed to be on that ship." She said once the bartender left, "Captain Mercer, that's how I knew you before. On The Orville. Was that the ship?" 

"How should I know? I yelled at her for trying to meddle with my life before anyone even made the offer." He said. 

"But you also said you weren't even supposed to be there, to catch them, that...you were late because of Gordon." She said, "Which makes sense because he's a real spaz." 

"How do you know-" 

"I don't know how I know but I just do, he is though isn't he? Like some kind of wild card. You really never know what's going to happen next with that guy, do you?" She asked him. He nodded his head slowly, looking more and more shocked as time progressed. 

"Kelly seriously didn't put you up to this?" He asked. 

"Have you ever met me before? I mean what do I even have to gain by getting you to pilot that ship." She asked. 

"That's what she'd want me to think and for you to say..." 

"Ed, I promise you this isn't a prank." She said then tried to think of something about him that was specific. Though all she could think of were possibly future events if those were even accurate and as it was, none of them were clear because he wasn't going to be Captain now. "Everything is starting to fade if you don't take that job something bad will probably happen." 

"Right," He rolled his eyes. 

"I'm serious." She said. "You have to think of something and this has nothing to do with Kelly the only time I ever knew her was commanding officer of The Orville." 

"Wait so she served with me and you were on the ship?" he asked, "Wait, who were you on the ship?" 

"Security officer." She said. "Lieutenant Alara Kitan." 

"You were my security officer?" He asked sounding really excited about it for some reason. 

"Yeah but pull it back I wasn't that good...at least I'm getting the feeling I wasn't." She muttered, "It's not important because it's not going to happen if you don't get on that ship." 

"Right," He said, "I may have pissed too many people off for that." 

"Great." She sighed. 

"So now what?" 

* * *

"...And this is Ed Mercer," John said. She gave him a glance and immediately recognized him. It hit her all at once like a ton of bricks. She suddenly felt sick. They were right back to where they had started. Probably. What was with this Kelly woman? How could she keep messing up this badly even with a memory wipe? That's why they were here right? Because of the brain protein? But then, why was she the only one who could remember? None of the others here seemed to. 

"Whoa are you okay?" Ed asked. 

"I think," She said, "But something went wrong again." 

"Again?" Kelly asked. 

"Yes." She replied, "I don't know what though...he said something about Gordon making him late?" Everyone turned to look at Gordon like they all knew this was certainly a possibility even if none of them knew what she did. 

"Make him late for what?" Gordon asked, "Me making him late caused the Kaylons to invade? I doubt that." 

"It was a combination of things, that's how it started. Chaos theory." Alara said, "You know, the butterfly effect. They wiped Kelly's brain and that worked but something else happened to make Gordon fall. Ed didn't say how." 

"I'm sorry how do you know all of this and when did we meet?" Ed asked. 

"Alternate time line, not sure when it was. Some time after you had an argument with her we ran into each other and had a drink together." Alara said. Ed stepped closer and looked at her like he was beginning to recognize her face. He nodded slowly. 

"Yeah that seems about right," He said. 

"What?" Kelly asked, "You had a drink with her?" 

"Nothing happened and why do you care you're the one who cheated on him with Darulio," Alara accused. 

"That wasn't my fault he-" 

"Bullshit it wasn't your fault." Alara growled. 

"Regardless if it was her fault or not," John said getting in between the two of them, "It happened and now we have to fix it." 

"It won't get fixed if this doesn't depend entirely on her which clearly it doesn't now it has something to do with Gordon." Alara said. 

"But what? Or when?" Gordon asked, "Wouldn't we have to go back and prevent whatever that was to make things right again? And we don't even have a date or time do we?" 

"No," Alara shook her head. "But this time, when the Kaylons attack which should be in about 30 seconds I'm going with you I'm not staying here." 

"Crap," Ed said. Alara hurried over to get the protein for the injection that Kelly was going to need to get and gave it to Claire. 

"We need a better plan, then, if she's not the problem." Claire told her. 

"She's still going to need her memory wiped." Alara said. 

"Yeah, that's kind of true." Ed agreed, "But what do we do about Gordon?" 

There was no time for any sort of an answer since they very quickly got an alert about the Kaylon attacking. She organized her men and did what she could to get them prepared for the ambush but ultimately she knew she was going to have to leave with John, Ed, and the rest of them, or else they weren't going to be able to correctly figure out what went wrong or how to fix it. There had to be a way to fix it but...hell if she knew what they were going to do. 

* * *

It was a close call, getting out of there. The shuttle was nearly destroyed but they managed. Once they were in a safer area of space and things had calmed down she looked up to realize that everyone was staring at her. She didn't know why, because she in no way had any sort of answer for this but she figured that she was going to be the best person to make suggestions. She wasn't great at quantum theory or time travel or whatever else. She was good at strategy and security protocol. That's all she'd ever been good at. All she could think was that if they sent her back in time, as well as Kelly, she'd be able to prevent this better with her knowledge because she wasn't nearly as stubborn or selfish. Perhaps in another time line she'd had respect for Kelly but she didn't in this one. Not after all of the destruction that her decision to ditch Ed had caused. 

"I don't have all the answers I just have some of them," She said, "I need to think for a bit so can you just let me have that? Where are we headed anyway?" 

"Back to The Orville. It's still on Earth in theory." John said. "Bottom of the ocean." 

"We're heading back to the scavenger ship." Kelly told her, "It'll be safer there for now and faster to travel in." Alara nodded. What she wanted to do was talk to Ed and talk to him alone, but she had to wait until they were in a better position to do that. There wasn't going to be any privacy on this shuttle. 

"I don't remember much or even know why I remember what I do so just give me some time to focus." She said, "And maybe something to eat." 

"There are replicators on the ship so, won't be long." Ed told her and gave her a bit of a reassuring smile. She offered him one back. There was some feeling in her that she was supposed to be with Ed in some capacity, and no matter how badly the time line was skewed they were always going to be destined to meet again. Over and over. Even if it took them a thousand times to get it right. 

 


	2. Time Slip

Alara looked around the small area she was going to be calling home for now. To be fair, it was slightly bigger than her tiny area back at the base and she was on a ship. She'd desperately missed being out here as opposed to on a planet. It may have been a beat up old scavenger ship but it was so much better than not flying through space at all. Now all she needed to do was figure out how to get Ed alone so she could discuss a few things with him. The only problem was that she didn't know what had gone wrong in the first place to make this happen a second time over. At least he did seem to remember having a drink with her at some point but that was the only contact it looked like they had before the present day. 

She was laying on her bed, looking up at the ceiling when she heard the door chime. She turned to look at it and sighed, welcoming the person in even if she didn't feel very social at the moment. When it turned out to be Ed, she smiled. The one person she had wanted to see but also the one person she hadn't known how to approach. He came in and sat down in the chair that was across from her bed. She sat up and brushed some hair out of her face before removing the large jacket she was in. It didn't fit her right anyway but it kept her warm on the relatively chilly planet where she'd been living. 

"So," He said, "I guess you were right about me being on that starship huh?" 

"Yeah," She said, "But it's not like I can blame you too much. I could have been equally wrong as far as you knew. Also, what even happened after that moment that we returned back here? I guess we must not have spent much time together after that for whatever reason." 

"Yeah," he said, "Memories are kind of fuzzy on that end but I suppose that's what happens when you start to mess around with time travel and quantum theory." She nodded. 

"True," She agreed with him, "It brought us back together, though, and who knows how many times it's done that. This could be the third or the three hundredth. I wonder how many times we've tried to get this just right and failed." 

"Anyone's guess," He replied, "It's curious that you seem to remember some things but the rest of us don't." 

"Maybe it's just because my species is wired differently," She said, "I don't think it's really any more special than that. At least in way of memory, but we were brought back together. In fact, whatever this was, was so important that it had me run into you when before I never would have." 

"You mean the fight I had with Kelly because I overheard her talking to the Admiral and...yeah that is kind of weird." He replied, "Then we meet again after all that time. It's like the universe wants us to be together." 

"I guess you could say the same about Kelly even though she's the one who fucked up in the first place." Alara muttered. She wasn't sure how much she really meant to be heard when she said that but she hadn't specifically tried to whisper it nor was she sure she cared if he did hear her say it. She laid back down on the bed and then rolled over so she was looking at him. He looked at her for a very long moment as if he was considering this. He also didn't look angry about it, just thoughtful. 

"I don't really know anything about you," He said, "But somehow I feel like I do." 

"Same here." She said, "Which is weird because I'm not exactly the religious or spiritual type that would believe in that sort of thing but something made me come over to you that night, on Earth. Something I can never explain." 

"Then I can only apologize to you for all of this." He said, "I never even tried to go back to save face or correct this. I just moved on with me life and figured, well, what was the worst that could happen? I was very wrong and quite frankly if you look at it, Kelly cheating on me did destroy the universe. Why would I want to go through that all over again?" 

"As much as I agree with you," She said, "I'd prefer to not live in a universe that has ended to attempt anything resembling a relationship with you or...well anyone else." He nodded and then got up and walked over to the bed, sitting on the edge of it. 

"I think the fact that we met the second time around, or the seven hundredth, whatever time that was...maybe we've met every single time, I don't know, but you said you were on my ship right? Once?" He asked. 

"Something like that, I very vaguely remember serving under you as Captain of The Orville. Seems like a distant dream now." She said. 

"Can you remember anything else?" He asked, "Even if you just think it was a dream, guess I'd like to hear what I was like as a Captain." She laughed and closed her eyes, trying to see if she could recall what it was like. It was hard to tell what was real, what was fake, or if she had made all of this up but it all seemed to be there in the back of her mind. Sometimes she still dreamed about it. It was a thing that kept Ed's face fresh in her memory but she had looked at all of that more as fantasy than anything. Especially after the world had gone to hell with the Kaylons ripping everything to shreds. 

"You were a good Captain," She said and smiled, "We were close. You wanted me to stay on your ship, fought for me, saved my life at least once. I got shot in the chest. You believed in me when I didn't even believe in myself. Sorry, don't really know why I think that just...feels right." 

"It kind of does," He said. She felt his hand slip over hers and she opened her eyes slowly to look at him. There was no telling how many lives or time lines they had lived attempting to fix this but it seemed they always ended up in the same place doing the same thing. There had to be a way to change this but she wasn't sure how unless she did it herself. 

"Send me back with Kelly." She said. "Claire too, because I think it's become obvious that we cannot trust Kelly to do the right thing if she also retains her memories." 

"Yeah but-" 

"I will," She said, "I'm more logic based than humans typically are and I don't believe that I could fix everything by not dating you, especially since we never dated in the first place." He laughed, a sound so charming that it nearly made her heart melt. 

"Yes, true, but anyone would be tempted to change-" 

"I agree with that," She said, "But what I do know is if what I'm remembering here aren't dreams they are well, real, I wouldn't mind experiencing it all over again. Being on your ship with you. I could fix this, Ed. I mean, I believe I could, but even if I royally fucked up...could it be any worse than this?" She watched him look around for a moment before shaking his head. She certainly had a point and as far as he knew, as far as they both did, she'd never been sent back before. Not with knowledge like this. 

"But once we send Kelly back, there's only a finite time you are going to exist then it's just...well past Alara." Ed told her. 

"I know," She said, "However I can leave her all of my logs and information and a note. I can get her...well myself, to believe all of this is true. I'm not unreasonable and if anything, younger me was far more rigid. Which is good, for both of us, because she'd be less likely to want to mess with the space/time continuum than younger Kelly." He nodded, it seemed that they were both in agreement in this point. She definitely couldn't imagine any world worse than the one where they were currently living. They were just going to need to run this past John to see if it was possible to get her back to the same point in time and how fast she'd be able to get to her own self. It may only take a few more calculations. It could definitely be done, they'd just have to find a way to do it. 

* * *

Alara woke up to a loud crash in her apartment. The place was tiny and it was easy to hear things in the other room if she liked it or not. She hadn't been issued a weapon yet but she wasn't too concerned with that considering how strong she was. She scrambled out of bed quickly and headed into the living room area only to see...herself? The clone turned to look at her. She seemed far worse for the wear and somewhat older just not by too much. The very first thing she could think of was time travel. In theory it was possible, she'd heard of minor instances of people doing it with mild success but she'd never seen anything like that happen. She reached back behind her to touch the wall. It was real, this was definitely real she could feel that she was not dreaming. 

"Listen to me," The other version of herself said, "I don't have much time. These are all my logs from the past...god knows how long ten years or so, everything I could find. You need to get on The Orville with Captain Mercer and make sure all of this stuff happens do not change anything." The second version of her held out a data chip that she knew she'd easily be able to plug into any computer and read. 

"Okay what's going on here?" 

"Alara," The other version of her said, "I know this is weird but this is probably the only chance we have because I don't want to do this again." 

"Again?" She replied. 

"Yes, again. Please just believe me this time." The second version of herself said before vanishing. Amazingly, despite that weird loophole closing, the data chip that Alara now held in her hand was very solid and very real. She hurried into her bedroom so she could plug the chip into her computer and load the data. Despite the fact that this was incredibly surreal and in no way should be happening it was. That second version of herself had sounded very serious, and because she'd said "again" she could only assume this had happened before and she'd messed it up somehow. She actually didn't know. With how bad her future self looked (and was dressed) she could only imagine how badly things had gone in the future for everything to get to the point it had. She knew that she'd have to study the logs, commit them to memory. Even if this all turned out to be a dream or a prank it certainly wouldn't help to do as she was told, just on the off chance that she prevented something terrible from happening. 

* * *

Six years later she found herself aboard the Union ship, Orville, under Captain Ed Mercer. Though no one seemed to know who she was, or anything about her, she knew everything about them. When she'd first gotten the copy of the logs years prior she hadn't known what to think. When everything started to fall into place and become exactly like her future self had described she knew she had a duty to keep everything that way and make sure things worked out as accurately as possible. Her biggest problem was that she couldn't control other people but the good news was that things seemed to be more or less the same anyway. None of them had to be careful about what they were doing, just act naturally. She, for the most part, only had to do that until she was on the ship. Now that she was, she knew it would become crucial to make sure everyone was there. 

The only problem was that during orientation she did not see Claire Finn. The woman who was supposed to have some kind of relationship with the Kaylon on the ship in order to stop the whole plan from going south. In her place stood a very tall, handsome, and young man that she soon learned was named Lex Roman. Doctor Roman. He seemed normal enough and his credentials were in order but this was going to be a problem. How in the hell was she supposed to explain any of this to the Captain without sounding like she'd gone entirely insane? According to the dates on the logs that she had been given, she definitely had time to figure this out, but where was Claire? Why had she not been assigned to the ship? 

"Lieutenant Alara Kitan?" She heard Ed's voice. She suddenly snapped herself to attention and nodded. 

"Aye sir," She replied. 

"Xelayan," He said. 

"Yes, sir." She replied, "I know that it's probably not what you were expecting but I assure you that you can count on me. No matter what." 

"Good," He offered her a very charming smile that in a lot of ways felt familiar even though it was brand new. It had been very hard not to do more research on him than was already in the logs. She had been afraid if she had been too tempted to investigate on her own she'd also be too tempted in to changing things she shouldn't. She read what her future self, the one that may or may not still exist, had to say about him and she wasn't wrong. He was very handsome. She felt immediately drawn to him, just as much as had been told to her. At first she thought that there was a chance that her future self had just gone insane due to this invasion and dystopia she'd written about but now? She felt it. This was going to be incredibly hard to deal with while also keeping her mouth shut about what she was doing. She'd have to just build her relationship with Captain Mercer and go from there. Hopefully, it wouldn't be as much of a problem as it was looking to be right from the start. 

* * *

"Why were you glaring at me back there?" Lex asked her as they were leaving orientation. She turned to look at him. Had she been glaring? She'd have called it more of a 'studying' look because she wasn't mad at him nor did she find him suspicious. She had just been trying to figure out why he was there instead of Claire. 

"Me?" She asked, "Oh um well I'm sorry if that seemed like a glare I was just...impressed by how tall you are." He was definitely over a foot taller than her and though he was also human she really didn't see humans as tall as him or as handsome and she really hated herself for thinking that considering how she also felt about Ed. This entire situation was irritating. Well, if history had taught her anything it wouldn't matter anyway since this guy would probably, ultimately, be too intimidated by her to want to pursue something. 

"Thank you?" He laughed, "At least, I hope you meant that as a compliment." 

"Yes I did, it just came out wrong I suppose." She said, "So, Captain Mercer said this is your first assignment as well?" 

"Just graduated out of medical school but I did get the highest grades in my class so there shouldn't be much to worry about," He said, "I have extensive knowledge on every species on this ship. A ton of plants and animals too." 

"That's good," She said, "What about psychology?" 

"Decently knowledgeable about that, need a bit more education before I can be certified but I study a lot on my downtime so, won't be long. I guess within a year, maybe." He said, "Depends on what kind of crazy antics we get into on this ship, right?" 

"Right," She nodded. The log notes on what had actually happened once she was on the ship had gotten very vague. She didn't know why that was, though it could have  been any number of reasons. Still, since Claire was missing from this voyage it seemed like none of the information was ever going to be accurate. Future Alara had never met Doctor Roman. "I'm sure we will all do just fine." 

"Same," He said, "Maybe we could get a drink later, talk a bit over dinner?" 

"What?" 

"Sorry was that not...I didn't mean like a date I just-" 

"No, I...I'd like that." She said. He was the first person to really reach out to her and be somewhat friendly so far. Though that Gordon guy hadn't seemed to care much that she was Xelayan he also seemed kind of obnoxious. Lex was a bit more down to earth and appeared to be a little closer to her age. It also certainly couldn't harm her to get to know the doctor on the ship. Maybe he could be the key to all of this if Claire couldn't because there was little else she could do to fix this otherwise. She could only tell herself that if things were different now, they were different for a reason. Whether that reason was bad or good it was very hard to tell but if she panicked now then she would accomplish nothing. It was time to improvise and hope for the best. 


	3. Connecting The Dots

Ed knew there was something up with Lieutenant Kitan, he just wasn't sure what. He could see it in her eyes though. Nothing bad, really, or anything that concerned him. If anything she looked at him with concern, and admiration, to the likes of which he didn't understand. They had just met for five minutes like a day ago. He also didn't have the best reputation in the Union, so he couldn't understand why she'd look at him that way. It was almost as if she knew something about him that he didn't even know. He attempted to let it go, especially because he had seen her having dinner with the doctor and it seemed like maybe they were getting along a bit too much for him to intrude. Not to mention he was trying to deal with the problem that was having his ex wife on the ship as his commanding officer. He'd spent most of the time so far trying to avoid her without also looking like he was avoiding her. It wasn't going well. 

By some stroke of luck on the second night, he was heading back from the mess hall towards his quarters when he ended up on the lift with Alara. Just her. She was dressed in work out clothing and if he had to guess she had just been in the holo-simulator doing something. Despite that fact, she looked amazing and he had to make himself glance in the other direction to keep from staring at her. She seemed to notice this and didn't say anything for a long while before turning towards him. 

"Captain," She said, "Uh...were there any other choices for medical officers possibly being assigned to this ship?" 

"Hmm?" He asked, that was certainly a weird question and completely out of nowhere at that. He was a bit drunk though, well, not really drunk but kind of tipsy. It probably wasn't the best time to have a conversation with his crew and he'd been hoping to avoid this. It was why he'd gone out so late to the mess hall to have a drink in the first place. "People were just assigned to this ship I didn't really request anyone, well, other than Lt. Malloy but he's one of the best pilots in the galaxy and we are friends." 

"Oh," She said, "Well if at all possible you should probably try to get someone named Claire Finn on assignment here." 

"Any specific reason why?" He asked. 

"Not...really?" She asked and didn't sound sure of herself. If anything, she'd stuttered the words out as if she had an answer but didn't want to tell him. He knew that tone pretty well because Kelly had used it a dozens times before she ultimately ended up cheating on him. This girl was hiding something and he wanted to know what. 

"Is everything alright, Alara?" he asked. 

"Yes, everything is fine, will be fine I'll be okay." She said. The doors to the lift opened and she stepped out, hurrying down the hall. He was up one deck above her and he knew if he followed her it wouldn't look very appropriate right now so he had to just go back to his room. "Have a good night, Captain." 

"Yeah...you too." He said as he watched her disappear down the hall. He wondered what that was all about, what everything was all about and had he not been so tipsy, stressed out, and tired, he may have remembered to ask her in the morning like he intended to. The reminder he tried to set for himself never clicked in and all was forgotten by the time he woke up. 

* * *

The first mission with the crew had been hard, especially because Alara had known the whole time why they had been called to the laboratory. The time altering device. An anti-banana ray as future Alara had left in the notes. It seemed she didn't know what it was actually called at the time, hadn't been paying attention. The problem was that she had been paying attention to everything else going on and had written that down. This left her own current self to decide what type of action to take. If she jumped the gun on everything she'd look psychic and everyone would be questioning how she knew all the information in advance. She managed to strike a perfect balance between looking super competent and like a great officer without also looking like she could predict the future. It got Captain Mercer very impressed with her, which was what she had wanted. She knew that she liked him, just from her own intuition. Future Alara had been extremely correct about that part but since there was nothing in there about Lex, she wasn't sure how to feel about him either. 

She'd learned very quickly that Lex wasn't a human. He looked identical to humans for the most part but he was a species called Affinet. They were incredibly empathic. To a point where they could absorb emotions and be easily influenced by the energy around them. They made incredibly good doctors because they always knew exactly what their patients were feeling and the best way to take care of them. It made sense that he was so young and so good at his profession given his species. It was kind of how she was in the same position with her species and what made her one of the best candidates to be a security chief. Due to this, he understood her struggles with being Xelayan and trying to date so he was very good about not drawing attention to it, nor being intimidated by it. Though he didn't possess any telepathic qualities, because he could so easily sense the emotions of others it was almost as if he could also predict their thoughts. It was eerie at first, but she started to get used to it and even admire the ability. If she could do that herself she knew she'd be a far better security officer. 

"You did great today, you know that right?" Ed asked coming up behind her as she sat at the bar in the mess hall. She turned to look at him, feeling her face get hot. She looked back at her drink and then took a sip. 

"It wasn't anything out of the ordinary really." She said trying to stay modest about it. He sat down next to her and ordered a Xelayan tequila. 

"It was, though," He said and then sighed, "I get the feeling that maybe you are a little bit more knowledgeable than you let on." 

"It is my job as ship's security officer to-" 

"That's not what I meant," He said but that comment was mostly under his breath. She looked at him and downed the rest of her drink quickly. "You know what I mean." 

"Do I?" She asked, a bit breathless as the alcohol was still burning her throat. "I've been working with Doctor Roman and he-" 

"No, there's something about you. I can see it in your eyes. Every time you look at me." He said, "And...well I'm not accusing you of anything bad. Not really, but you know something and you aren't saying it. Why?" 

"Look, sir, even if I could tell you and I definitely cannot...I don't think you'd believe it." She said. "Please just let me take care of this. My job is security after all." 

"And my job is to look after every last person on this ship. Including the security officer." He said, "Alara, I like you and I really wouldn't want to force my hand on this by making you tell me anything. I don't think it's right, but maybe you should consider it." 

"Sir-" 

"Ed is fine, we aren't on duty." He replied and picked up his drink. 

"Ed," She offered him a small smile, "Like I said if I told you, you'd think I was insane even if you didn't there's no telling what the consequences...I mean...not that it's a threat because I don't intend to do anything but...well we couldn't discuss it here anyway." She sighed. Maybe it was about time she just gave in and told him what she knew. Eventually, she was probably not going to have a choice given that Claire wasn't on the ship and she had no idea how to deal with Isaac herself. Other than randomly accusing him of what he was about to do, to which she had no proof, she was stuck. She had thought about getting some kind of proof but it wasn't easy or going well. 

"Alright, we'll meet in my office. Say, an hour from now?" He asked. 

"Okay," She told him, "But you aren't going to believe me." 

"Let me decide that." He told her. She nodded and headed back to her quarters to shower and change. She was going to also have to get proof of what she was saying and she had it all. In the logs. She knew he wouldn't have a chance of believing her without those and even then it was a real crap shoot. 

* * *

An hour later she was outside of his office. She was dressed casually, she wanted to look as normal as possible while also not trying to look official. She had thought about coming there in uniform but also didn't want to come across as insane. Really, the point was that if he didn't believe her she knew she was going to have to appear sympathetic which she also knew would probably be easier to do if she was in normal clothes. She pressed the button to alert him to the fact that she was there and a moment later he told her to enter, which she did. He wasn't in uniform, at least not fully. His jacket was off so he was only in the black shirt underneath. Maybe this was supposed to be more casual. 

"Uh hi," She said, "Not too early, right?" 

"No, you are on time." He said, "Have a seat." She nodded and took a seat across from his desk before setting down the data log that she had brought with her. The same one her future self had given to her about six years prior. He looked at it but didn't say anything before looking back to her. Then there was silence. A lot of it. She realized he wanted her to speak first. 

"Sir," 

"Ed is fine," 

"Right, Ed...okay 6 years ago a future version of me from about well...a year from now but 7 years at the time came to me and gave me that," She motioned to the item she had set on his desk, "She told me that I needed to memorize everything on it, get on The Orville, and prevent a Kaylon take over because Kelly wasn't going to do it herself. Also, that she didn't want to have to do it, again. This kind of denoted to me, personally, that she had done this before...a lot. I mean the logs are extensive, they even include things to do if other things go wrong. The only thing she didn't include is what I should do if Claire isn't on the ship." 

"I see..." He said slowly. 

"Right and now you think I'm insane but I'm not. I promise I'm not. Everything in those data logs has happened and if it hasn't, the alternate thing has happened you can look at them yourself I have nothing to hide." She insisted. 

"Is there anything in there about her telling me this any other times?" He asked, "Or well...you?" 

"No sir," She said, "This would be one of those other first time things. She did mention, though, that if everything went correctly then I wouldn't ever need to tell you so it didn't matter much." 

"Well, your future self thought of everything, huh?" He laughed but it was a nervous laugh like he thought she might be incredibly unstable. 

"I can tell you don't believe me and you know I wouldn't believe me either. At first, I didn't. I read the data logs like my future self wanted but then...stuff started to happen. All of it." She said, "Even having to distract Admiral Halsy from..." 

"From what?" He asked. 

"Uh..." She looked away from him, he wasn't supposed to find out this early about what Kelly had done. He was on the ship, though, and they were on deployment. It wasn't like he could just quit. Well, he could, but she thought it was probably unlikely. 

"Alara, you know I've heard a lot of things in my time but this-" 

"You are only Captain of this ship because Kelly called in a favor. It was hidden from you." She said, "I had to put a call into him to interrupt their conversation in the hallway to stop you from hearing it because Gordon fell that day which made him make you late since you were waiting on him." That was when his expression changed suddenly and his eyes went wide. She had blurted out all of that without meaning to but at the same time she wanted to save her own ass from being thrown into a medical bay and sedated until they could get her back to earth for more testing. 

"What?" 

"That's what happened, sir," She said, "It's written in those logs and my future self told me how to handle it so you wouldn't know until you were already serving on The Orville." 

"Son of a bitch." He whispered and reached for the data logs. She moved her hand quickly and grabbed them. 

"Are you sure you want to do this?" 

"Did Kelly-" 

"No she did not put me up to this, why would you ask that? Do you think she wants you to know what I just told you?" Alara snapped. 

"Then how do I know it's true?" He snapped back. 

"Ask her. I'll wait." She said. He glared at her for a long moment before grabbing his communicator and contacting Kelly. It was late so it took a moment and she was barely awake when she answered him. 

"Did you ask Admiral Halsy for a favor to get me onto this ship as Captain?" He asked her immediately. Alara could tell he was angry but according to the logs he was angry when he originally found out as well so she wasn't too surprised about it. There was a long pause. 

"W-What?" Kelly replied then laughed but it was definitely a very nervous laugh like she knew she had been caught. 

"Yeah, thanks. Think I got my answer." Ed replied. 

"Ed wait I can expl-" He cut her off before she could even finish the word and looked back at Alara. "I want to see those logs." 

"Look, I'm willing to show you some of them, not anything past the date we are currently at though." She said. 

"Why?" He demanded. 

"Because it's hard enough not to change the future and quite frankly you humans fucked it up already before especially Kelly, like so badly that I had to come back and warn myself about this stuff. Even worse, I apparently didn't even believe me but so far it seems from these logs I'm the only one who's done the correct enough job not to fuck everything up for the 100th time because who the hell even knows how many timelines we are in now." She told him. 

"You know she's going to be coming down her like, right now, to talk to me right?" Ed asked, meaning Kelly. 

"Yeah, I know," She told him and held the data log towards him. He took it and put it in his computer. He started to skim the information from the start, which went back 6 years so she knew he wasn't going to have enough time to get enough details to even go into the future. 

"Wow you...you really like me don't you?" He said after a moment, his angry expression softening to the most dorky yet adorable smile she'd ever seen. 

"That's not important," She said. 

"Oh I think it is," he laughed, "I had no idea...wow." 

"Ed!" Alara snapped. It didn't matter much, though, because they were interrupted by the door chime and Kelly barging in before she was even told it was okay. Alara got up and snatched the data log back, thankful that Ed hadn't issued a command for it to be transferred into his own files. 

"Ed I...why is she here?" Kelly asked. 

"We had some business to take care of." Ed said, his gaze hardening back to a far more angry one as he turned to look at Kelly. 

"But she's-"

"No, don't change the subject. We need to talk. Now." He said firmly. "Alara, I'll see you tomorrow after our shift like we talked about?" 

"Uh...yeah." Alara said and hurried out of there. She had forgotten about all the little side notes her future self had written about Ed before handing over the files. Mostly because she had panicked a bit and didn't want him to think that she was absolutely insane. The problem was that she didn't know how this would effect anything. It could change the timeline entire, it could mean nothing. What she did know, was that she had gotten them far enough that it was still possible to make things go okay. She'd have to just prevent Isaac from doing whatever it did to make him take over. Even if that meant shutting him down herself before he ever got the chance. 


	4. New Beginnings

Alara met up with Ed the same time the next night, in his office. She decided to wear her uniform this time, though, which ended up being a good thing seeing as how he was still in his by the time she got there. He looked casual and wasn't sitting behind his desk. He was on the couch reading something when she came in. She took a seat across from him. They hadn't talked much otherwise and he had done a very good job just pretending like nothing was wrong during their bridge shift. At least nothing wrong about what she had said. He was very snappy with Kelly and she couldn't really blame him even if it was also kind of unprofessional. He looked up at her and smiled when she sat down. 

"How much more do you know?" he asked. 

"Well," She said, "A lot of it really only pertains to me and my life. I mean, there's only a short period of time when I'm on this ship, at least written in those logs. I do know that she says something about the gravity eventually effecting me but you guys found a way to replicate the gravity of my home planet so I could train...so uh might want to get someone on that if you don't want me to decline physically." 

"I can look into it," He said, "Anything else?" 

"I'm not sure if I should-" 

"Look," He said, "Claire isn't on this ship and there's not much we can do about that right? So if that's the case there probably isn't a lot you can tell me that will ruin much. I mean, who's to say we will even run into the same problems or be assigned to the same things. We might, but...that's a pretty big change already, isn't it?" 

"Yes, however, the first mission we went on was exactly like she said just without Claire. Honestly, Lex was a lot more efficient from what she described." Alara said, "Or I did. Sorry, still not exactly sure how to phrase any of this." Ed chuckled. 

"I wouldn't be either," He said, "But...here we are so just use whatever feels natural." She nodded and relaxed against the couch a bit more. The way he was talking to her seemed casual and relaxed but also flirty in a way. Not that she was complaining but it wasn't helping her to focus. It seemed her future self was right about him liking her back, maybe. She hadn't gotten into that much, other than they'd both never really gotten a chance to see where any of it was going. Mostly because Ed had been so hung up on Kelly the whole time and it was like he was too busy to notice her. She was thinking maybe she should change that too. There was no telling what Ed would be like if he had her instead of being stuck on his ex-wife the whole time. 

"Well we are still going to have to worry about this Kaylon invasion thing," She said, "And Claire was the one who prevented it mostly. I mean she had some kind of relationship with Isaac that-" 

"Isaac is involved? Really?" Ed asked. 

"Yes," She said, "I can't outright accuse him because I have no proof and I've been looking. All I have are those logs." 

"We'll keep an eye on him, for now," He said, "I mean...I'm not saying I don't believe you because I believe you a considerable amount considering what you already told me. However, I'm going o have to see more for me to entirely-" 

"Yeah I would too. I don't blame you." She said. 

"Right, now, what's this about you liking me?" He grinned. She felt her face get hot again and she looked away from him. 

"That is or was, a different version of Alara. Not me." She said even though it was a total lie and she already knew that. She glanced in his direction and saw the look on his face so she knew he totally wasn't buying what she'd just said. 

"Really?" he asked, "Because that version will be you in what, a year? So I imagine it started somewhere." 

"But you and Kelly-" 

"Maybe if I know there are other options and about what Kelly did...I've reconsidered." He told her. 

"You didn't according to her, I mean in the logs you still kept-" 

"Yeah well maybe that was my problem and my mistake and not something I should have kept doing. If you haven't noticed I'm pretty stubborn." He said. She laughed without meaning to then covered her mouth quickly to stop herself before clearing her throat. "No it's...you have every right to laugh at that." 

"Sorry sir," 

"Fine, maybe whoever wrote this in theory was a future version of you and that's not you right now. I can agree with that, but, how do you feel about me right now?" He asked. She turned her head back to look at him. She did like him, far beyond admiration there was also an attraction there that she couldn't deny. Maybe it was just because it was so taboo to be so into her own Captain, at least she knew that was part of it. Yet, there was so much more there. He was very handsome, smart, funny, and most of all he didn't seem to care one bit that she was Xelayan and insanely stronger than him. 

"I like you," She said, "Not as much as future me but I guess she was exposed to more than I was to have decided this and since she hasn't been wrong about anything else..." 

"What was she exposed to?" He asked.

"Oh well there's one mission where she...I...get shot and she views it as you saving her even though Claire was there too and technically did  more of the saving." She said. "Not looking forward to getting shot in the chest. That had to be a bitch." 

"You know," He said, "If the only thing we really have to do in order to stop the universe from being destroyed is stop Isaac, does it really matter if you continue to play out everything exactly how it was supposed to be? Does it matter if I do that?" 

"I guess not but maybe? I mean how do we even know?" She asked, "Besides I don't think it's a good idea for you to go around telling people you know the future or even looking like you do. It could change too much too drastically." 

"Fair enough," He said, "What's our next big problem like?" 

"Uh..." She said and laughed nervously, "Well you and Kelly get tricked into going to see what you think are your parents but it's really like this alien ship and you guys get stuck together in some kind of zoo. Funnily enough before you leave you give me command of the ship as you think that it won't be that long and...anyway long story short I apparently rescue the two of you." 

"Really?" He said, "Kind of want to see how you do that." 

"You can just read the logs." She sighed. 

"Or I can see it," He smiled, "You're more important to this ship than I've even considered at this point, aren't you?" 

"I don't know if I'd say that," She said, "I mean at some point one of the engineering crew dies because I fail to react in enough time to-" 

"Well you can change that now, can't you?" He asked, "Even warn us about-" 

"But what if he's supposed to die? What if all of that's supposed to happen. I know that really it seems Isaac is the only threat here and that might be true but we don't know every single action or event that will lead to this problem." 

"I agree with that but why not prevent a death if you can?" He asked. She knew he had a point and since she didn't really know what would happen otherwise she couldn't say he was wrong. However, she always remembered what she'd looked like  in the future and how urgent she had sounded saying she didn't want to do this  _again_ she could only assume that maybe it was for reasons like this. Small changes or errors. Still, nothing in those logs said anything about Claire not being on the ship and if things were already changed that much then...maybe it didn't matter. Maybe this was such a new time line there was no telling what could happen or would. Hell, she didn't even know yet if that specific situation would arise.  She also didn't know if the next big problem would be Ed and Kelly vanishing. Maybe the first mission had been exactly as described but they were destined to do that anyway as that was their very first assignment on board The Orville. From there on out, who knew what could be coming their way, especially since Ed now knew a lot of what she did. 

"We don't even know, as of yet, if it's going to happen." She said, "It may not. Since we both know these things as of now it could be entirely different, if we like it or not." 

"True," He said, "But I've considered this a lot and I at least know I want to change my relationship with you." 

"Sir," She said, feeling her stomach flutter with excitement because she was very not opposed to doing that. Future Alara had made him seem like the best thing in the universe, the entire motive for saving the universe. He had to amazing, for whatever reason, if that was the case, but she'd never given specifics as to why. "I am technically your subordinate." 

"Yeah, so is Kelly and according to you I kept trying to date her. Obviously this is something that can work if the people are right for each other." 

"How do we even know based on Alara's-" 

"We don't," he said, "But it's not going to hurt anyone to try. At very least I can already tell you'd be more logical and professional about it than Kelly. Wouldn't you?" He certainly had a point there. Since they really didn't have a history and would be building a new one on the ship, while at work, it would be an entirely different dynamic than if he was with Kelly over, and over again. What she did know was the alternate time lines made it pretty clear that Kelly was not the best option for him in the long run. It seemed it didn't even matter enough to get Claire on the ship which meant there had to be an alternate way to stop Isaac. 

"Alright, it's worth a try." She said. "However, we should keep this...private from the crew. At least as much as we can until someone figures it out because they probably will." 

"I know," He smiled, "But, as much as you are my subordinate you are also chief of security so it's a position of power unlike any other crew member I might be doing this with. You also have ultimate authority to override my decisions if you think I'm being super dangerous or stupid." 

"In theory, sure, but-" 

"Just go with it." He said, "I promise I'll leave most of this up to you and we'll go as slow as you want." She took a deep breath and nodded. 

"Sounds good then," She said, "How about we have dinner, tomorrow night?" 

"Great, my quarters or yours?" He asked. 

"I'm guessing yours would be a lot nicer," She laughed, "If uh...you don't mind." 

"Not at all. I'll see you then. Eight o'clock?" He said. 

"Yes, I'll be there." She agreed with a smile and stood up. He nodded at her and she headed out of there. She had no idea what the future would hold but she figured as long as she knew the key elements that led to the destruction of the universe, what harm could be done trying to date Ed immediately instead of waiting until everything went to hell? 

* * *

Alara arrived at Ed's quarters in a dress. It was a nice one, she supposed she would have said it was kind of slutty but it wasn't very obviously slutty. Revealing in certain ways but covering in others. She figured that she wanted to give him the options of thinking she wanted him while also thinking she was trying to be modest. It would be up to him to decide what kind of image she was projecting. He answered the door and was dressed nicely as well but not in his uniform. A very handsome sweater and black slacks. She smiled at him and he motioned for her to come in but she did see him stick his head out of the door and look both ways to make sure no one saw this. 

"No one was in the hall and I wasn't followed, I checked," She told him. 

"Just making sure," He said. There was already food waiting for them on the table. Some kind of pasta it looked like. She assumed it was made in one of the food synthesizers, not that she cared. It was obviously hot, though, so he must have just finished setting this up. The lights were low and there were even a few candles lit. 

"This is nice," She said and took her seat, "Thank you for inviting me." 

"No problem," He said and sat down across from her. She picked up her fork and started to get a bite of food on it. 

"So is this really a date or are you going to spend most of the night asking me what is in those logs from the future?" She asked and then took a bite of her food. He laughed and shook his head slightly. 

"Maybe a bit of both, but only because...can you blame me?" he asked, "However it's not the primary reason I'm interested in you so if you don't want me to bring it up at all I won't. We can talk about anything you want. Like what your life is like on Xelaya or your family or-" 

"I'd rather talk about the logs." She sighed. 

"Oh?" 

"I don't get along with my parents and they really do not approve of this career path. Haven't talked to them in a while. They are all about my sister and what she does and every single time I contact them they are...it's just painful." She said, "What about you?" 

"Me?" He asked, "Well my parents are...I mean I have a good relationship with them but they kind of never got out of that whole phase where I'm still a kid or something so it can be kind of hard at times. I like them well enough, though." 

"That's good," she said, "Can't imagine trying to inform my parents that I'm dating anyone other than a Xelayan, uh...no offense. I don't have a problem with it but them?" 

"I guess it comes down to you then, how much stock you put in what they think." He said. 

"I know that I'm not going to let them stop me from doing what I think is right or makes me happy." She said, "So whoever I do end up with, well...that's my choice they won't make it for me. Guess they will just have to learn to deal with the fact that my parents will hate them. Forever." 

"Been there," He said, "Kelly's parents weren't very...well, let's not get into all of that with Kelly. Think you know about that." 

"Yes I do," she laughed, "Except you should expect Darulio to potentially be assigned to this ship at some point. I mean I guess it may not happen given the whole thing with Doctor Roman being here instead of Claire but if you don't want that to happen...keep an eye out." 

"I definitely will." He said. "So, I am to assume that whatever happened here, with these time lines at some point my future self and your future self came up with a plan to fix it. You were, for some reason, nominated as the best choice. Any idea why?" 

"Me?" She asked, "Well, you didn't see everything in the logs I saw but it seems that what Alara told Ed, or rather, I told you was that I would be the most likely candidate to allow everything to happen as it should, bad or good, to get you onto The Orville. Kelly's main failing seemed to be that she didn't want to go through all the hurt of the relationship, cheating, and divorce so at least the first time she changed it. She never went on a second date with you. The second time...third? 100th...it's hard to tell, she had her mind wiped but there was other factors at play. I mean, this comes down to chaos theory. It wouldn't be up to only Kelly to do all the right things and make all the right choices all over again but everyone else in the universe. It led to a situation of Gordon falling down and making you wait. Must have been a bad fall if it caused all that." 

"He claimed he fell, I don't believe him, but he never went into what that really was." Ed laughed, "In any case I don't think it matters because you did your job well enough to get all of us on the ship. Right? Is anyone else missing?" 

"No, only anomaly I see is Claire," She said. "As for you, what is it with you and Xelayans?" 

"What?" he laughed. 

"I can only assume it's something," She said, "Or else I wouldn't be in here." 

"Maybe I just like you as a person, which I do." He said. 

"And the Xelayan thing has nothing to do with that?" She asked and took another bite of food. He paused, then took a few bites of food as if he was pondering this for a moment. No doubt he was considering if she had already read something about him in those logs. She hadn't, which she knew, but he didn't. She wanted to see if she could get him to say anything she didn't already know just because he thought she already knew it. Of course, she knew she could be wrong but she did like attempting some of her investigative techniques to see how good at it she could be. Especially when it was something as harmless as this. 

"Okay maybe I have a thing for Xelayans but it's not like...I promise you wouldn't be in here if I didn't like you as a person first. Seriously." Ed said. 

"I believe you," She smiled, "But what do you mean thing for Xelayans?" She had no idea what he meant but he clearly knew what he meant and it seemed he thought that she already knew. He sighed and took a few gulps of wine from the glass that was set out. 

"Right so," He said and took a deep breath, "She mentioned my porn collection? I mean I don't know how she'd have known but I also don't know how many attempts she went through or what happened in the other time lines so this is all an unknown variable to me personally. In any case, that's porn, Alara just fantasy so once again this is separate from what I know to be reality." 

She sat there and thought for a moment about what he could possibly mean. Her future self had mentioned nothing about this. However, she could tell he was getting defensive if only just slightly. His posture and tone had changed. He wasn't angry but he was nervous and it seemed like he was trying to hide something while admitting it at the same time. Considering he also phrased part of his answer as "a thing for Xelayans" and she now found out this included a porn collection she was able to deduce what he was talking about was fetish porn. Which really didn't bother her and would potentially work in her favor, depending on what type it was. 

"Yeah the fetish porn," She nodded as if she totally knew what he was talking about and where this was going. 

"We don't have to do any of that stuff I mean I don't need it." He insisted. She took another bite of her food and considered whatever he was talking about must have been significant considering he appeared worried that she would be put off by it. 

"So it's true then?" She asked, once again making herself appear confident as to knowing the truth or not. 

"Look everything in those movies is consensual anyway I don't watch the super weird stuff and I'm not even sure why half of it would bother you so much, I mean, I do like it both ways. It's not like I expect to be the dominant entirely." He continued. That was it, then, Xelayan bondage. She knew that was a thing, mostly because of the weird fascination humans had with their strength and the fact that Xelayans typically didn't leave Xelaya. This made them incredibly rare and taboo. Though they weren't a significant minority on earth they weren't everywhere, and that made them some kind of commodity in an odd way. She supposed she would have found it offensive if in the moment it wasn't definitely working in her favor. It was only then that she realized what he had said about what he was watching. 

"Wait..." She said, "You want me to...dominate you?" 

"Sometimes, is that so wrong or even that surprising?" He asked, "I mean no broken bones or anything but...yeah I...it's interesting is all. I've never actually done it you know, just thought about it a lot. That's what I mean I don't need it and if you never ever wanted to do it and just wanted to be completely normal, I'm okay with that too. Really. Whatever we end up doing, if we do anything, we'd talk about it first. I promise." 

"Huh," She said and took another bite of food. She hadn't known any of this upon first coming in there but she couldn't say she wasn't intrigued by the idea. "Well I've never done anything like that either even though I'm aware of what it is and I have to say if I was going to do anything like that with anyone it would be you." Immediately she heard a loud clanging as Ed's fork dropped to his plate, she looked up in time to see it bounce off of that and fall onto the floor. Ed looked pretty shocked, in a good way, and it took him a moment to jump into action and actually get down to pick the fork up. Once he did he stepped away to toss that one out and get a new on before coming back. He sat down and opened his mouth to talk then shut it again. She giggled softly. 

"You're...serious?" he asked. 

"Yeah, why not?" She asked, "I mean I trust you, I like you, and from what future me says there's a reason to so I guess I should just take a leap of faith but I mean you're probably going to have to explain to me this stuff and even show me what you mean...because beyond vague concepts I really don't have that much knowledge on the subject." 

"Uh yeah...yeah I can do that but uh...no judgment?" 

"Of course not, I'm not one of those women that doesn't understand what fantasy is or why guys watch porn," She said, "If I don't like something or don't want to do it, trust me, you'll know and it's not exactly as if you can force me. No offense." 

"None taken." He laughed. She smiled at him and he picked up his glass of wine raising it as if he was about to make a toast. "To new beginnings then." She picked up her glass and moved it to chime against his. 

"To new beginnings." She agreed. She really hoped this wasn't going to be a mistake but she also wasn't sure she cared. If anything it would only strengthen their bond and make them closer which was definitely going to be needed if they were going to go into this future together and make it work enough to save the entire universe. 


End file.
